January 25

Age is Cruel

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“Age is cruel!”

That’s what painter, Graham Sutherland, told Sir Winston Churchill, in The Crown episode I just watched. The former Prime Minister did not like the way his painting was done. He told the painter that it’s not what the people – and the British Government – sees.

We can only imagine what really transpired during the painting project where Sutherland was summoned for as the British Parliament’s 80th birthday gift to Churchill.

Nevertheless, it’s true: age is cruel.

A few months ago, I realized I am turning 40 in less than a year.  You know what sucks about turning age 40?

It’s not only to realize that you are aging. (I am officially a “Tita” in less than six months.) It’s also to remind you that as you age, the people around you are aging, too. 

No matter what, you can not control life. And seeing this in my Papa’s condition just hit me.

In the last month, I saw myself crying a night, wondering if I could have a deal with God. I would have wanted to exchange every good thing that happened to me last year for the day my father met his accident in our own home. If only God works that way, who knows where would you be, right?

I felt sad as a gloomy and cold weather. I started questioning myself if I should do my work when nothing’s going to change with my father’s condition. Let alone dream new dreams!

People know me as someone who brings joy to the room. But man, this situation is damn difficult. I do not even know where this would take me and my family.

In the eyes of my Papa are the regret of that day. Consequently, on every prayer he whispers daily (he does it many times), I see full trust and surrender.  If my Papa chooses to face the cruelty of aging like this, who am I to do anything otherwise?

Alas, every day is a new day to age. It is also a new day to face aging with options: be grumpy or be joyful.

If I were you, which one would you choose?


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